Beep boop bop computers.

I put dents in the universe.

I've been A/B testing a few of them here are the reactions so far:

I'm a designer: Oh, cool. (Generally they think I just make flyers)

I'm a UX Designer: Whats that? (No one knew what it was, and I had to mumble something about users)

I'm a User Interface Designer: Oh cool, for like websites and stuff? (Most people get this for some reason, and ask more. Also seems to get a little more respect if thats important to you)

I Design websites and apps: Oh cool! (I think this one wins so far, its clear, its not over the top, and they get it)

"I'm not even sure anymore"

Then maybe start a long winded explanation depending on how that goes

I design apps that don't piss people off when they use them.

I build apps and websites.

Edit: I forgot. Once while visiting my sister and her ex in South Korea, when their school kids (they taught English) asked what I do, my sister's ex came up with the perfect description:

"Dan is an Internet Explorer"

One day, I'll put that on a business card.

i work at the internet.

I told them to picture a skyscraper. The architect designs the building and the construction workers build it. Apply the same idea to web and mobile apps and we have designers and engineers.

I'm an experience designer.

"What's that?"

I design mobile and web applications. Stuff that you use daily on your phone or computer. I make sure your experience on those devices are awesome.

"Oh. Cool"

"I'm an unicorn"

(To my peers) "UX Designer" "Oh nice bro"

(To relatives) "Product Designer. I design products" "Oh that's nice"

(To wummin) "Graphic Designer" BAM! I can haz all them wummin.

I've found that "software designer" is an easy thing for most lay people to understand.

If I speak to someone in tech, design, or the ad world, I'll usually give them my proper job title.

I usually start out by answering in the most general way possible, "I'm a designer". If they probe further, I'll expand on that answer by getting more specific.

When describing my work, I always try and use words and analogies that everyone can understand. There's nothing more annoying than someone who revels in confusing their audience with industry lingo and vague corporate-speak (yes, even "hip" startup talk is corporate-speak).

Most people only ask because it's a simple way to start a conversation (albeit an overrated one). The last thing I want to do is bore or confuse them. Keep it simple and relatable.

I always say this:

"Do you know what a doctor is? Okey, now, do you know what a surgeon is? Okey, I'm the surgeon of the design world, I'm an IA.

I tell people I invented the Internet, then apologize to Al Gore.

Now I just say that I "make" websites to avoid a blank stare when you tell someone that you're a UI/UX Designer and Front End Developer LOL!

Use to delve into product, UX, etc.. but over the years I've learned the correct response:

I make apps and websites.

Anything further sounds like we're justifying our silly career. Wait for the questions.

Also, there's this: http://99u.com/articles/23401/answering-the-dreaded-so-what-do-you-do-question

"I'm a designer at _______." Usually describing the company and its product will then get the job done.

This is how it goes a lot of the time now that I'm not doing the stuff I was doing in LA:

Them: "Oh, what do you do?"

Me: "I'm a Creative Director"

Them: "Oh, what's that?"

Me: "I manage blah, blah, blah blah... designing blah, blah, blah... which is really exciting because blah, blah, blah.

Them: [crickets]

Me: "Basically, I make shit pretty".

Them: "Ohhhh, that's so cool! I have a second cousin who's uncle's son does watercolor paintings."

Me: "Sweet".

I tell everyone I'm a Janitor. Why? Because I always end up cleaning up all of the $#!T. But really, it depends on how seriously I gauge the interaction is going to be.

Funny story: 3 years ago, I was in Vegas at Marquee doing the whole Janitor thing. Bottle service, EDM, standing on couches having fun and this girl comes up to me and asks "What do you do?" I tell her I'm a Janitor and she says "No you're not, not with that Breitling on your arm." Then I told her, I'm really good at what I do.

For people inside the techie/design bubble: Half UX and half dev. Heavy background in Agile & Lean.

For people outside techie/design bubble: I help make web stuff that's useful and fun to use.

I pick colors.

"I do e-commerce", is my answer.

I tackle this one in stages, depending on the knowledge and interest revealed by the victim.

• I work in web design
• User interface design for web-based applications.
• UI and UX for a company that provides practice management and e-learning software for the dental industry.

Occasionally I'll follow up with a smidgeon about front-end development and experience implementing and/or working with a wild variety of CMSes, as people tend to ask about "what you do" to determine "what you CAN do".

"I design and program software interfaces. Like what an app looks like and how you interact with it."

That being said, sincerely considering Ian W.'s beep boop bop computers line.

I create culture.

I make websites and apps. This is far easier than saying your title or trying to explain what exactly it is that you do.

I usually just tell people I'm a janitor. They typically laugh and think I'm joking but most days I'm just cleaning up messes so it seems appropriate enough.

Internet Carpenter & Plumber.

I tell them I design apps. Most industry language is way too over-the-top and self-important for any normal conversation.

I build things on the internet—mostly for casinos.

"I'm a UI Designer. Basically, I design websites and apps."

It's an oversimplification, yes, but it avoids having to explain things if I don't feel like talking to the person.

When I moved into my current role my title changed from {UI/UX/Product} Designer to Director of Product -- and it's definitely cut down on the inane "oooh, I have a friend who needs a {website, logo, poster, t-shirt design, etc.}!" responses I used to get. I still do design work (with the added responsibilities of product management) - but the "Product" title is a lot easier (for me) to explain. That, or there are just less follow-up questions afterwards to content with.

I tell them that I work with digital media, and that usually consists of building websites. Generally, people write me off, and that's okay.

Once they see the sites I build, things change. :)

I used to tell them I did social strategy, which always followed up with a long confusing conversation. I tell them I build websites now. A lot easier and comes with a lot more respect :)