"Honey, you'll never guess what happened! I was on my way home from volunteering at the homeless shelter, and some pesky teenagers raked a pile of leaves and debris into the street. I wasn't sure if I should drive over it or find another route. What if there were branches and rocks under there? Or worse.. broken glass and nails? Maybe explosives?! You can never trust people these days. Even more disturbing, there was a creepy middle-aged man just standing there with a video camera filming the whole thing.. Just waiting for me to drive over his treacherous leaf trap of doom. Shouldn't he be inside celebrating Thanksgiving with his family? What could he possibly be doing out there? I decided to proceed slowly, politely waving at the crackpot as to not cause any trouble. As soon as I made it through the pile of death, I zoomed out of that neighborhood at dangerous speeds to get away from that Thanksgiving terrorist as quick as possible. Pretty sure I ran a few stop signs but hey, my life was at risk. He may have been following me! I'm seriously freaking out. Now hand me the phone, I'm calling the cops."